


Across Five More Decembers (Plus One)

by in_motu_proprio



Series: Five Decembers [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5+1 Things, Christmas, Christmas Smut, Endgame compliant, F/M, Kitchen Sex, Not A Fix-It, Semi-Public Sex, Time Travel, romanogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 00:29:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21867025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/in_motu_proprio/pseuds/in_motu_proprio
Summary: This is the continuation of the story Across Five Decembers (Plus One).  It takes place in the time between the Snap and the UnSnappening.  (I have no idea what to call it, reverse snap?)  Anyway, this is the further exploration of the relationship Steve and Natasha develop over the course of five Christmases.  Unlike Across Five Decembers (Plus One), this piece is explicit from the first chapter.
Relationships: Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Series: Five Decembers [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1575388
Comments: 43
Kudos: 123





	1. Chapter 1

2019

The first year after the Snap neither of them, and a lot of people, felt like celebrating Christmas. The year after that had been quiet, just Steve coming home with the ingredients for sugar cookies and the Christmas station on the radio. They were both living in the compound on the Hudson Bay at the moment, running the Avengers and what was left of Shield together. Steve’s heart wasn’t in it but he seemed to feel like he owed it to them to stick around for awhile. Personally, Natasha was grateful. She’d expected Steve to take off like a lot of other people after the dust settled. It was over a year now and she still hadn’t heard from Clint. The only reason she knew he was alive was because she tracked him for awhile early on to make sure he’d survived the Decimation. He had, everyone else in his family hadn’t, so Clint ran and became a new man. 

Steve hadn’t, though. He’d stuck around and helped and Natasha was infinitely grateful for that. She’d needed him and he’d been there. Even now with the baking, she was struggling to find the joy in it. As they worked, though, and they stared reminiscing about the past over a glass or two of wine, Natasha relaxed into things. They made the dough relatively quickly. It turned out that Steve had bought ingredients for two types of cookies, chocolate chip and sugar. She didn’t know who was going to be eating all these but it was entertaining to play a little in the kitchen, especially when Steve seemed so intent on it. 

“Hand me the vanilla,” Steve asked and Natasha complied, slapping it into his hand like a surgeon. 

“Vanilla,” she told him with a little wink. The bots had gone about putting up some lights and a tree this year, something Natasha hadn’t asked for but that had been half done one morning when she got up. To be honest, now that she was making cookies with Steve, she was enjoying the twinkle of the lights a little bit more. It was hard to enjoy anything since The Snap, but here she was surprising herself by being near Steve following a simple recipe. “What made you decide to bake cookies with me today?”

“You’ve been on my mind,” Steve told her with that level of honesty only a guy like Steve was capable of. It was so honest it turned the corner to earnest. “Our traditions were on my mind,” Steve corrected quietly. 

“Baking wasn’t one of them,” she pointed out.

“I found out a long time ago you can’t go home again… we had to move on if we were going to recapture any of that. And I want to recapture as much as we can. Christmas can be something good again if we try.” 

Natasha reached out, lacing her fingers with Steve’s as they stood there behind the counter. He smiled, probably one of the only smiles since the Snap if Natasha was counting. “I’ve missed you.”  
“I’m right here,” she reminded him softly, pulling on his hand just a little bit. “Don’t you forget it.” She’d been there at his side the whole time. He needed to wake up and remember that. 

“You wouldn’t let me,” Steve teased quietly, bringing Natasha’s hand to his lips to kiss the back of it softly. “Let’s get this batch in.” 

“Yeah,” Natasha said slightly disappointed. She didn’t know why. Well, she did but she didn’t want to admit that one of their Christmas traditions was one she really wanted to stay. Sleeping with Steve had been tremendous and Natasha didn’t want it to have been a once and done thing. She’d certainly thought of it far, far more than that. Natasha thought about that night a lot if she was honest with herself. Still she helped him put in the batch of chocolate chip cookies, closing the oven door just in time to be swept up into Steve’s arms for a piercing kiss. She was grateful he’d all but picked her up off the ground because he legs went out as he kissed, shocking the hell out of the usually stable Natasha. 

“Steve,” she breathed out when he broke the kiss, pulling back enough that they could both catch their breaths. 

“I know we said yes to ditching the old traditions but can we keep the one, do you think?” Steve’s hand caressed Natasha’s back softly, fingertips catching on the fabric of her blouse. 

“Are you asking me to sleep with you,” Natasha asked him, “because it’s a Christmas tradition.” 

“Partly… mostly because it was … incredible last time and I would like to try for amazing this time.” Natasha laughed and he caught her bottom lip between his teeth, nipping slightly before turning it into a kiss that left her wondering when it was he’d deposited her on the corner of the countertop. 

“Amazing sounds…. amazing,” Natasha told him as his hands caressed her thighs, squeezing her jeans along the inside seam. Her legs parted to him like the Red Sea to Moses, freely, willingly, completely. 

Steve was in the middle of running his hand up her thigh when the timer went off. “Friday, turn off the oven,” Steve commanded, “and let us know if anyone is coming our way.” 

“Shall I divert anyone attempting to access the kitchen?” 

“Yes,” Natasha said sliding her fingers into Steve’s hair and pulling him closer. “Thank you, Friday.” She kissed Steve again, not holding back as she enjoyed the soft curves of his mouth and the hard outline of his cock. Both were pressed into her and both were equally pleasing, though if she were pressed to pick she’d pick the outline of Steve’s cock. He was hard already, rubbing against the inside of her thigh. 

“Pants off,” they agreed and both worked on their own pants until they were half undressed under the low lights. Steve’s freshly washed hands skated down over her hips, tugging on the waist of her panties. 

“You want something, soldier,” Natasha teased, moving his hand to the gusset of fabric between her legs. 

“Yes, ma’am,” Steve echoed, leaning in to kiss Natasha’s throat, free hand moving up under her shirt to caress one breast. She loved how he touched her, nervous verging on reverent and Natasha reached down to pull off her shirt without worry. Steve’s eyes were glued to her, watching riveted as her shirt dropped to meet their pants. 

“How about you,” Nat asked as he rubbed her gently through the fabric between her legs. “Shirt o…off,” she stumbled as he rubbed just right. 

Soon enough they were both there in nothing but their underclothing, staring at each other a moment. Steve was in a pair of blue boxer briefs that looked like they were struggling to contain him. Natasha wore a pair of black panties and a pink and black bra. Well, she wore it for a few more seconds before Steve was reaching behind to unhook it, kissing her throat as he did. “Steve,” she moaned softly, fingers running down the back of his neck to his wide shoulders. 

He had her bare to the waist in no time, mouth latching onto one breast eagerly while his fingers pushed the fabric between her legs to the side. Natasha was breathless, eager, and so damn wet. “Steve,” she urged, moving his hand for him until it rested where she wanted it. Steve didn’t need to be told twice and started to move like she showed him, rubbing a slow circle around her clit as they kissed again, deep soft kisses. He brought her to the edge like that, holding her close rubbing her clit. She reached up to run her fingers through his beard the wrong way, ruffling hair as she went just to get a rise out of him. 

And she certainly did get just that. Steve stepped in close, pressing himself to her thigh as he continued to rub her clit. She panted his name softly a few times before she was tumbling over the edge, crying out his name far too loud for their semi-public venue. Steve, hard as he was, gave her a minute to catch her breath before sliding two fingers into Natasha with ease. “God,” Steve cursed, “you’re volcanic, Natasha.” 

“I want you,” she breathed, wrapping her legs around him a little more securely reaching down to free him from his underwear with an easy flick of her wrist. “Now.” Natasha didn’t want to wait. Steve didn’t need to be told twice, sinking into her after just the barest of foreplay. They came together roughly after that, Steve a little overwrought and Natasha feeling much the same as he pounded away into her. Steve wasn’t overly gentle this time, it was more a mutual drive to feel _something_ other than what they was currently feeling. Nothing. Or worse, something. 

Just because it was quick in the end didn’t mean it wasn’t good and Natasha could easily say she’d enjoyed herself. They _were_ trying to avoid being caught. She kissed him as he moved to withdrew, close to his end. “You don’t have to,” she told him tightening her legs. Then, because it was easier to lie, she said: “birth control.” Technically her graduation ceremony had been just that. She pushed it out of her mind as hard as she could while pulling on him to stay close. She suddenly felt quite cold. Steve didn’t disappoint, holding her tight as he finished, hissing her name as he came. 

She welcomed him to her shoulder as they lingered, the low tunes of Christmas carols coming back into focus behind them. He smiled then she smiled back, small almost shy smiles that bought them both goodwill in the other’s book. “We should…”

“Let me get your….” Steve bent and picked up Natasha’s clothes, handing them over in a bunch sort of shyly not looking at her panties which were on top. Funny considering what he’d just done with her. 

“Friday is the path clear between here and my room,” she asked. 

“Sure is. I can keep it that way if you’d like.”

“I’d like,” Natasha answered before turning to head toward her room, waiting until she was halfway across it to turn back and meet his gaze. “Are you coming or what?” She didn’t think she’d ever seen Steve move quite that fast on or off the battlefield.


	2. Chapter 2

2020

“How is this a thing?” Natasha laughed when Steve set the tablet in front of her with the advertisement. 

“I thought it was different and… you like animals.” 

“I get e-mails from a raccoon, doesn’t mean I like animals,” Natasha pointed out. “Besides I bet they leave off the non fluffy animals,” Natasha said. 

“The map clearly shows the path goes through the Snake House,” Steve said. “Come on… lend your voice. I’ve heard you sing,” he pointed out, “I know you have a lovely voice from Mass.” 

“You really want to do this,” Natasha asked. Steve nodded, resolute. She seemed reluctant, but willing once he nodded his agreement. “Ok, fine. We’ll go caroling to the animals at the zoo.” Natasha acted as though she’d never heard of anything so absurd. Steve thought it was charming. 

More than that, he hoped the lights were nice for her. She hadn’t been able to go out with the same glee she once had searching for lighting displays, Natasha’s life had rapidly become focused solely on keeping the Avengers going while the world slowly got up off of its knees after that sucker punch. She had kept herself together after the Snap despite everyone around her, Steve included, falling apart. But Natasha was like that, stoic and sure and a North Star to anyone looking for one. 

They headed out later that afternoon and got to the city just in time for the start of Caroling to the Animals. Yes, it was silly like she had suggested but it was something different that had no tinge of their past. It wasn’t that cold out but since they’d be out for awhile, they’d both bundled up. Truth be told they both probably could have done it in a t-shirt and jeans, but no need to suffer unnecessarily. Steve brought the hot cocoa and a packet of the cookies they’d baked yesterday from the car as they walked up the hill into the zoo. 

They joined the tour of carolers in the wild bird exhibit, starting up their tune over the cacophony of all those birds. Steve wasn’t a big bird fan, so he just kept his head on a swivel and stayed close to Natasha. That wasn’t a hardship at all, being close to her. She smelled really nice today and she’d pulled her hair back so he could see her long neck. The Snap might have killed a lot but it hadn’t dampened his feelings for her one bit. Steve wouldn’t say he was in love, that was one person and she was long since gone. He would say he was quite taken by Natasha though and would do just about anything for her. He lived in hope that one day this would be taken out of the confines of _a Christmas fling_ and be more of an all year relationship. The problem was that Natasha had never showed any interest outside of the holiday season. 

Steve stayed close as they traveled past the Bison singing _Do You Hear What I Hear?_ She slipped her hand into his around the tigers, fingers lacing together. Steve thought his heart might well have stopped in his chest as she leaned in and laid her head on his chest while they sang _Oh Little Town of Bethlehem._ He wasn’t ashamed to say he’d looked over the lyrics to a bunch of Christmas songs, even the weird second verses that got kind of preachy. He thought idly that maybe this year he’d be able to bring himself to go to Mass but immediately put the thought out of his mind as the thought of thanking God right now created a pit in his stomach. 

Natasha stayed close the whole time, probably for warmth Steve’s logical brain told him. The rest of his brain, the part given to romantic flights of fancy, thought maybe she just wanted to be close to him. They made it around the Bronx Zoo to every exhibit, singing to everything from giraffes to bugs. Steve didn’t know what good it did for the bugs, but the lions really seemed to like _Silent Night_. 

When they’d made it around to all the exhibits and drank all the cocoa and eaten all the cookies, it was time to head back to the car. He pushed the start button on the keys to start it warming up as soon as he could see it. Natasha held his hand the whole way and even let him open the door for her. As she went to slip into the car, he impeded her, an arm across the doorway was enough to make her look up. When she did, Steve leaned in and kissed her softly, pressing her to the side of the SUV. Natasha didn’t resist at all, opening her lips for him when his tongue gently slid across the line where they met. 

He’d intended for it to be a soft kiss, something sweet, but Natasha turned up the heat pretty easily with a hand on his hip trailing down to his backside for a squeeze. “Get in the car, Steve,” she told him pulling on the back door where there was much more room. His mind immediately went to all the things he could do with her in that space. Clearly she was on the same wavelength because in moments they were necking in the backseat of the car, Natasha’s hand on his chest. 

Steve could hear the Christmas music that was playing in the parking lot under the sound of his zipper. “No,” he shook his head. “Let me.” Natasha put her hands up in mock surrender, letting Steve unzip her vest and push it off. She shivered a little bit and Steve almost stopped things, thinking maybe they could continue it back home where it was warmer. Instead, Natasha caught his face in both hands and laid a soft, tender kiss on him. Her hands found his and she put them on her torso, reminding Steve what he’d been doing. His hands went from torso to breasts almost immediately, he wasn’t ashamed. She was beautiful and had tremendous assets up top that were his to play with for a very short time. 

“Pants off, I’m going to go crank the heat,” he told Natasha with a smile. 

“And here I thought the perfect man didn’t exist,” she teased going for the button of her jeans. Steve was torn between watching her and following through on his promise of heat. He ended up watching until her jeans were halfway down her thighs before turning back to the front instrument panel and adjusting the heat all the way up and directing it all back toward them. Steve turned back a few seconds after turning away and found her lounging in the back in just a pair of panties and her sweater. It was, possibly, the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. 

Steve caught her ankle and brought it to his lips, kissing his way up the inside of her leg to her knee. He paused there, hands trailing up higher. There was goose flesh all over her upper thigh and he tried to kiss it away, making Natasha sigh softly, her fingers in his hair. He tried to keep his beard from scraping her tender skin too much but she didn’t seem to mind when he made contact. He swept his lips higher, until he could kiss over the silky fabric covering her. Steve’s hands moved to her waist, tugging at it until she lifted her hips and let him peel that last bit of fabric off. 

He smiled when he looked back at her, pleased at his work and her beauty. “You ok,” he asked as he reached out to stroke a finger through her folds. “Not too cold?”  
“It’s warming up in here,” Natasha teased, wrapping both legs around him a little tighter. Steve smiled and leaned in to kiss her, scooting closer. Hands on her hips, he lowered himself until he could give her folds a long, slow swipe with his tongue. Natasha sighed that soft sigh that meant she liked it and Steve did it again. He took a moment to get reacquainted with the terrain, so to speak. Natasha’s body was no different than that of any other woman but then every woman’s body was a _little_ different. 

Natasha’s back arched as he came in contact with her clit, tongue cupping it as his lips latched on to suck and pop off a few times. “Yes,” she groaned out when he lingered a little, hands sliding up into her shirt to cup her breasts. She moaned his name in a way that went straight to his cock but Steve tried hard to ignore that and focus on her. He took his time working her up to the edge then pausing, liking the frustrated way she sighed and gave him a little smack when he stopped. “Stop teasing, I’m close,” Natasha warned. “Careful or I’ll put you in a headlock.” Steve did not doubt she would, so the next time she was cresting he let her.

He was grateful that he did because she was beautiful when she came. Hell, she was beautiful all the time, but especially when she was cumming for him. He kept up his part of the bargain until she was gently pushing him away, asking for a moment to catch her breath. Steve rested his lips against the skin of her stomach, kissing his way up to the hem of her sweater before skipping up to her mouth for a long, slow kiss. Steve was so grateful for this moment, for her, that he found himself getting a little emotional. Natasha just kissed him again before pulling him into a tight embrace. 

They stayed like that a good long while, holding each other in the back of the SUV neither saying anything for a long time. “Do you need some help,” Natasha asked as her hand landed on his thigh, letting him know she was still receptive. Steve, however, had lost that aspect of the moment. He was certain he could get it back if he worked at it, but she looked cold and he could see security a few aisles over. 

“I’m ok.” Natasha didn’t seem put out of offended, just shrugged and started to look for her panties. “Do you mind if I drive us home?” 

“Not at all,” Natasha told him as she shimmied back into her panties and jeans. She was putting her boots on when security passed by in their little car, not pausing to check on the SUV that had been sitting there running for twenty minutes. On one hand, Steve was relieved that he didn’t have to lie to a security officer. On the other hand he was a little shocked at how lax that was, security-wise. He was torn about making a call tomorrow when Natasha caught his face in her hands once more. “You sure you’re ok to drive?”  
“I’m always ok,” Steve replied with a hollow smile. Natasha said nothing, but the look on her face said everything she didn’t.


	3. Chapter 3

2021

The fresh snow on the ground invigorated Natasha to the point she was having a hard time staying still. Well, it could be that or the four cookies she’d eaten in the last two hours from her and Steve’s cookie stash. All she wanted to do was go out and do something but she was stuck inside working on briefings. Steve had stepped aside, leaving most of the work to her. She wasn’t upset, nor was she surprised. The Avengers didn’t fit him anymore and Steve was trying to move on. That was why she hadn’t expected him until next week when they were set to meet to carol to the animals. It took a lot to surprise Natasha but Steve managed it, showing up one day in the early afternoon and demanding she put her jacket on and come with him. 

Natasha didn’t argue, just found her jacket and followed Steve out to the grounds. Their boots crunched in the snow as they walked, lending that particular sound of cold to the experience. “So what are we doing out here,” Natasha asked and watched as Steve bent and started gathering snow. 

“We’re making a snowman.” 

“A snowman,” Natasha repeated, surprised that _this_ was what Steve wanted to do. 

“Or snow woman if you want,” Steve said with a raised brow. 

“How about a gender non-conforming snowman,” Natasha asked. “No need to get personal with the snow person.” Steve laughed and nodded. 

“Snow person it is.” Steve continued to gather snow and Natasha bent to help. “You’ve got to roll it, it’ll pick up snow that way.” 

“You know I’ve never done this,” Natasha told Steve as she started to roll the ball of snow around. She started gathering snow and was quite pleased with how it was turning out. “What about eyes and a nose,” she asked but Steve had come prepared with some pieces of grilling charcoal for eyes and a mouth and a carrot for the nose. 

“Bucky and I used to make snowmen back when we were kids. I mean when I wasn’t sick and falling apart,” Steve told her. Other than briefings or work-related conversations, Steve hadn’t mentioned Bucky since before the Snap. Natasha said nothing, just nodded and let him tell her a couple of stories about Bucky and little Steve making the biggest snowmen they could muster in a vacant lot near their tenement. They were onto the middle ball of snow by the time Steve choked himself up and Natasha did her best to pretend to ignore the little slip, knowing that talking about the people who were gone was important. They deserved to be remembered, but sometimes it was a hard burden for the living. 

“It’s coming together,” Natasha said as Steve hoisted the second ball of snow into place on top of the big one on the ground. “Now he just needs a head.” While Steve bent to scoop up more snow to make the head, Natasha bent to make herself a few snowballs which she promptly turned and fired at Steve. A moment later the head of the snow person came flying her way. The arc was big enough that she had plenty of time to get out of the way. He, however, hadn’t been expecting it and was nailed three times in the back and once in the side of the head so he was cleaning up. “Now we need another head,” Natasha pointed out with her hands up in truce. She’d gotten her shots in anyway. 

“Easy enough,” Steve turned, keeping his front to Natasha as he started to build the last ball by gathering up a bunch of snow. A few pieces of charcoal and one carrot later they were standing there looking at their creation with appreciation. Natasha slid an arm around Steve’s waist and he slid one around her shoulders and they stood there a good long while looking at their work. “He…”

“They,” Natasha corrected.

“Ok, they look good,” Steve told Natasha with a nod at the snow person. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to they as a singular pronoun,” Steve said with a sigh.

“You will as soon as you care for someone who’s trans,” Natasha pointed out evenly. “It comes easier that way I think, more naturally.” Steve nodded, a slightly unsure look on his face as though about to ask who she knew. 

“Go stand next to them,” Natasha told Steve. “I want a picture.” 

“What about with all of us,” Steve asked pulling out his phone as well. Natasha, as a rule, did not let anyone take her picture. She avoided the lens as much as possible early in her life out of sheer survival. Now it was more out of self-consciousness. Natasha knew she was objectively attractive, but it was rare that she felt beautiful or even pretty. It just wasn’t necessary to survive and all of those things had been flushed out of her early on. She’d had to fight for the things she had now, like Christmas with Steve. It wasn’t easy showing this much vulnerability but she seemed to manage just fine with him. 

They got together next to the snow person and took their photo on both phones, Natasha immediately going in to check how she looked in it. Deciding that she was acceptable, the photo was saved and locked for her eyes only. They headed in shortly after that, Steve wrapping his arm back around her shoulders as they walked, ostensively to keep her warm, Natasha imagined. 

The compound was decorated for the holiday, the same as last year just some understated white lights and a nice tree in the sitting room. That was where they gravitated after picking up some hot cocoa in the kitchen from the bots. Somehow they were always a step ahead, though Natasha imagined perhaps Steve had asked for that. They took their cups to the sitting room, gooey marshmallows floating on top as the liquid underneath shifted with each step. Natasha told herself that she needed to get back to work, but didn’t want to while he was here visiting. 

They settled in on the sofa in front of the tree sipping their hot cocoa in a companionable silence for a long while, a least half the cup, before either of them spoke. “I’m glad you came today,” Natasha told him with a little peck on the cheek. Well what little cheek she could get to through all that beard. “You know I miss the clean-shaven Steve. Think he’ll be coming around sometime? Maybe this summer when it’s hot?” 

“I like my beard,” Steve told her almost sounding offended. 

“I like it too,” Natasha assured him. “You look … determined with it.” She reached up and scrunched it the wrong way with a little laugh. “You just look older.”  
“I am older,” Steve told her. “We both are, sorry to say.”   
“Every day above ground is a good one,” Natasha countered with a little shrug feeling a pit in her stomach at the mention of getting older. Instead of dwelling on it, she did what she always did when issues of mortality came up, she changed the subject. “Do you want to go to the mall tomorrow?” 

“I hate the mall.” 

“I know,” Natasha laughed. “I heard about a giving tree that I’d like to help with.” She briefly explained to Steve that a giving tree was a way to help out the less fortunate during the holidays and he was in. “We could each pick a family and go shopping for them,” Natasha suggested. “I mean… if you’re staying over.” Her brow quirked and he flushed. 

“Yeah… that sounds really nice. I can stick around.” He reached out with trembling fingers and took her hand, giving it a squeeze. 

He was always just a little nervous when approaching her for intimacy that Natasha found it intensely arousing. She intimidated him and yet he got over that fear to bring their laced fingers to his mouth so he could kiss the back of her hand. She smiled at him and leaned in to close the gap for a real, soft kiss. “You should put down your cocoa now,” Natasha told him as she did just that with hers before crawling into his lap, taking the cup from him to deposit it on the table behind her. His hands went to her waist, holding her in a loose but sure grip as she kissed him some more. He tasted of chocolate and marshmallows but also he tasted like himself. She’d grown to like that taste, _his_ taste. 

“I didn’t come here just for this,” Steve blurted out at one point when she’d paused to catch her breath. 

“Not _just_ for this,” Natasha echoed, her hands sliding down his chest. 

“That’s… I hoped, you know. I like this tradition after all.” They smiled at each other, agreeing that Christmas sex really did suit them well. “But I came because I wanted to see my friend.” 

“I know you like me, Steve,” she teased.

“I do,” he affirmed, lifting her up off his lap and bouncing her onto the sofa. He followed, covering her mouth with his to effectively shut her up. It worked, well that coupled with some good slow grinding. 

Steve’s hand down the front of her jeans, Natasha was panting lightly and ready to take it to the next step by the time they were interrupted. “Excuse me,” Friday called from her speaker in the ceiling. “But Colonel Rhodes has just pulled up and will be in the vicinity of this room shortly. Shall I deflect him?” 

Natasha sighed heavily and shook her head, “no.” She crawled out from under a reluctant Steve who was already on board with straightening up to respectability. “Meet me in my room in ten minutes,” she told Steve with a final peck on the cheek before disappearing down the hallway. She might be a lot of things but an exhibitionist wasn’t one of them. At least not tonight.


	4. Chapter 4

2022

By the time they got home from shopping, both Natasha and Steve were starved. He’d come out from the city early that morning and they’d gone over to the mall to do some serious shopping. Not for themselves, for families on the giving tree. Natasha picked a family of five with an infant and Steve picked a family of three with two kids and a single mom. They sat in the food court for a while chowing down on Chinese food and making their plan of attack with a mall map pulled up on his phone. 

She wiped some orange chicken sauce off his cheek as they divided up the children’s toy and the parents’ clothing specifications. Steve felt strange as a guy picking out kids clothes so he always made sure Natasha and he did that part together. In all they’d shopped about seven hours to make two family’s Christmases a little brighter. What Natasha had kept a secret was that she’d decided this year she was getting Steve a gift. They’d never done that before, but when she saw the sweater she’d had to get it. It was almost the same shade as his eyes and was incredibly soft. Like everything else, she’d had it wrapped at the gift wrapping station that supported the local pet shelter. 

That was where Natasha discovered that Steve needed a cat, or at least that’s what the girl flirting with him behind the counter thought. She kept pressing the picture of a fat tabby his way but Steve kept deflecting, looking back to Natasha for support. There was no pity there, though, and she watched Steve turn progressively redder in the cheeks under his beard. Finally she gave Steve his claim ticket and let him go cat-free. 

“I’m so glad we don’t have to wrap them ourselves,” Natasha said to Steve as though that girl hadn’t just played with her life by flirting with Steve in front of Natasha. 

“Me too, though you’re going in there to get the stuff.” 

“So she can flirt with me,” Natasha teased. 

“Please?” 

The edge of desperation in that _please_ was what had Natasha walking into the little pop up shop to get their presents half an hour later. Natasha had to give the girl credit, she’d done a nice job. Still she kind of wanted to shake her roughly about the room a few times. Instead she just said: “hi, my boyfriend sent me in to get our presents.” She thumbed in Steve’s direction where he stood just outside, the coward. Natasha handed over the claim ticket with a dead neutral face, staring at the girl intently. She held on a minute too long, making intense eye contact with the girl who seemed more confused than anything. Maybe she was losing her touch, Natasha thought. Then the counter girl made eye contact with a blushing Steve and _there it was_. Recognition and understanding flooded the girl’s face and she hurried to get the presents not even offering Natasha a single cat in the process. 

They dropped the presents off at the giving tree, wrapped and ready to go, before heading in the direction of home, weary from a day’s battle at the mall. So after all that they were quite hungry by the time they arrived at the compound an hour later. 

Having made many a meal together while Steve was living there, they were able to throw something together with little effort from all the fresh ingredients that were kept on hand. Natasha had forgotten what it was like to grocery shop at this point. If she wanted something specific all she had to do was ask Friday and it appeared hours later like magic. Today they just used some of the staples that were kept around the house to put together fresh pasta with veggies and sausage. It was all spiced up with some red pepper and Natasha found it quite pleasing, though the company more so. Well, more so until he opened his mouth and said, “I heard you in the wrapping store. You called me your boyfriend.” 

Steve, to his credit, just let the fact sit there, not pushing her at first. Better to make someone stew. “She made you uncomfortable. I wanted to return the favor,” Natasha said coolly. “Did it bother you?” 

“No,” Steve replied a little too quickly. Natasha hid her smile behind a forkful of pasta, brows raised in question. “… it didn’t bother me at all.” He reached over the table to take Natasha’s free hand, squeezing it softly. “I’ve been thinking about it since you said it.”

“That’s why you’ve been so quiet?” 

“Yes.” Natasha hadn’t expected him to be this direct. “I’ve been thinking about what we have and … at the risk of ruining it all, what would you think of that? I mean… for real … um…” Steve was tripping over his own tongue and Natasha adored him for it, letting him catch a breath before saying, “I want you to be my girlfriend. For more than just the girl at the wrapping station.” 

Natasha sat there a little stunned, blinking at Steve because that was all she could do. “I’d be a terrible girlfriend,” she warned. 

“I don’t think you would,” Steve told her with a shake of his head. 

“I’m jealous.” And Steve knew what she was capable of. 

“Doesn’t bother me.” Steve brought Natasha’s knuckles to his lips, kissing them. “Be my girlfriend, Natasha. For more than just Christmas.” 

“You’re living dangerously Steve Rogers,” Natasha warned. “But… yes.” 

“Yes,” Steve echoed getting up and making his way around the table. They hugged for a long while before Steve pulled back into a kiss. Natasha sunk her hand into his hair, moving closer to Steve and away from the table. They stood there kissing softly for a long while, just enjoying each other for the moment. 

“So what does this change,” Natasha asked when they slowed down on the kissing. She pulled him in the direction of the sitting room where there was a nice couch. 

“I suppose we’ll see each other more,” Steve told her with a smile. “I don’t want to give up my work with the V.A., though.” 

“I don’t think you should,” Natasha agreed. Steve sat and Natasha knelt next to the tree. “Maybe you can wear this to the V.A.,” she told him producing the shirt box she’d stashed under the tree. “Tell them your girlfriend picked it out for you,” she teased as she sat on the couch next to him. Natasha was excited for him to see the sweater as silly as that was. And the look on his face at getting an unexpected gift was enough. 

“I will,” Steve told her leaning over to press his lips to hers again for a quick peck. He chuckled softly to himself as he fussed with the bow not wanting to break it. Natasha just watched, hands placed firmly between her knees. Steve opened it to find the sweater and looked appreciative and pleased. “Thank you. this is is really lovely,” Steve told her holding it up to himself to test out the size.   
“I hope it fits.” Without prompting, Steve stood up and pulled on the sweater, showing off just how nicely it fit. Steve did look good in a sweater, Natasha thought as he sat back down. “It looks good on you.” 

“My girlfriend picked it out,” Steve practiced, running his hand over her thigh. “Yours is on the tree.” 

“On the tree,” Natasha asked looking at the tree with a cock of her head. 

“There are three of them.” Steve got up with her to play warmer/colder until Natasha knew what she was looking for. Hidden in the tree were three delicate glass bud vases on wire hangers meant to go into windows. In the first and second there were chocolate bonbons, delicious rum balls that she enjoyed one of while looking for her third bud vase in the tree. She found it high in the tree and when she pulled it down there was a sound of glass against glass, surprising Natasha with something in the bottom of the vase. She turned it over into the palm of her hand to find a pair of earrings. They were not inexpensive ones either, Natasha thought as she examined them. 

They were a beautiful brown diamond circled in tiny white diamonds and it resembled his shield very strongly in her mind. She loved them and immediately put them in her ears, tucking her hair back so he could see his gift on display. “These are beautiful,” she told him. “And too much. We didn’t even talk about getting each other something this year.” 

“I wanted to get you something and when I saw them I thought of hot chocolate with marshmallows.” Natasha leaned in and kissed him for that, thinking it was about the most adorable thing she’d ever heard. 

“I saw your shield,” Natasha told him with a little smile. “Either way I love them. Thank you.” She leaned in to kiss Steve again, running her hands down his sweater as she moved to settle herself in his lap, straddling him. “Say these are a pretty nice present for someone you considered just a friend about twenty minutes ago,” Natasha pointed out.

“… funny thing about that…. I had a whole thing worked out about us and how we were like hot cocoa and marshmallows but it’s incredibly stupid. I realized that in the kitchen and knew I had to ask you before you got to those earrings.” Steve was blushing so she knew it was the truth. Natasha maintained a static face for about ten seconds before laughing aloud, arms wrapped around Steve’s neck loosely. 

“Who’s the marshmallows in your equation?” 

“Please don’t make me…. fine, me. You’re the steamy hot cocoa.” 

Natasha smiled at that, nodding her head. “Damn right I am.” She let him off the hook, leaning in to kiss Steve on the forehead before pressing their lips together in a soft, slow kiss in the low light of the Christmas tree. Natasha wasn’t all that surprised when a few minutes into their kissing, Steve moved them horizontal on the sofa, laying on top of her. Deciding she was going to keep him on his toes, Natasha used her legs to turn them both off the sofa onto the ground next to the tree with her on top. “Much better.” 

“You could have just said I want to be on top.” 

“I could have,” Natasha said with a shrug pulling at his sweater and shirt. “But it wouldn’t be nearly as fun. Now this looks great on you but get it off.” Steve didn’t question it as she helped him get rid of his sweater then hers, leaving him the task of taking her bra off which he did immediately. Natasha was pretty sure that in Steve’s book any time he got to play with breasts was A OK. His face was currently buried between them, smothering himself for a moment and probably not even realizing it. 

Natasha kissed the crown of his head and let him mouth over each breast for awhile before his hands went tot he button of her jeans. They stripped each other down to their skin, Natasha sliding back on top to grind on him a little bit. She reached between them and lined his half hard cock up with her folds, resting on it so it hit all the right spots for her. For awhile that was good but soon they both needed more and Natasha sunk down to give him something to remember the night by. He’d blown her gift out of the water and she wanted to return the gesture of the beautiful earrings with a blowjob that would curl his toes. 

Natasha knew from experience that he could get hard and stay hard for a long period of time, not to mention bouncing back from orgasm with little to no downtime. It really wasn’t the worst trait a boyfriend could have, she thought as her mouth closed on Steve’s cock. She sunk down slow and steady, taking in as much as she could and using her hands on the rest. She knew how to make oral last and how to make a man pop in minutes. The thing was she was alternating between the two going from long slow strokes to fast, deep sucks. Natasha kept things unpredictable until he couldn’t take it anymore and came, her name on his lips, his hand in her hair. 

Natasha didn’t let him go down, sucking on his cock through his orgasm and well past it until Steve was swatting her away with deep, tortured noises. “Natasha please…..” 

“Please what,” she asked, climbing back on top looking down at him. Steve’s hands moved to her breasts, caressing them tenderly. 

“I want you. Please.” Steve didn’t usually beg so she must have accomplished her goal to give him one hell of an orgasm already and she hadn’t even ridden him yet. Natasha slid two fingers into herself then brought the slick fingers to Steve’s cock and stroked a few times before lining him up and pushing herself down onto him. “Yes, God,” Steve groaned deeply, twisting up into her as much as she’d allow which wasn’t much at all. 

She was merciless as she sunk down on him slowly, inch by inch until he was seated fully inside her. Natasha leaned back and started to rise, feeling him leave her body in slow progression before sinking back down once more. Over and over she worked herself against Steve, groaning out his name when he brought damp fingertips to her clit. That bit of stimulation was all the encouragement she needed to go a little faster, take him a little deeper. “God, fuck… fuck, Natasha…. my… God, please,” Steve babbled, legs flailing a little bit before she gave one thigh a touch of a smack to straighten up and fly right. He did to his credit and started to roll his hips in counterpoint to her movements. They worked their way up into a sweaty crescendo that culminated with both of them finishing spectacularly loud and unabashed. 

They lay there after in each others arms, catching their collective breath. Natasha’s body giving her the most delightful aftershocks as she pulled off of Steve, rolling to her side next to him. Steve welcomed her in and grabbed the afghan from the sofa to spread across them both. “Mmmmmm.” Natasha made a soft little contented sound as she snuggled in at Steve’s side, using his bicep as a pillow. 

“We can only lay here a little bit,” Steve reminded her. 

“I know, I know,” Natasha sighed. They laid there a little while just looking at the lights enjoying the closeness they’d found under their twinkle.


	5. Chapter 5

December 16th, 2012

Steve knew when he left Sam, Bucky, and Hulk that it was going to be a long time before he saw any of them again. He also knew that he was going to need to make one stop after he’d returned the stones before going home once and for all. So Steve did his mission, returned all of the stones to their respective spots, praying that when he returned the Soul Stone that she’d come back to him. Steve had made that the last place he went just in case. Of course just in case didn’t happen and he was left with one last option. 

He set the GPS to the date he needed, deciding that if he had the capability, and if returning the Soul Stone hadn’t brought her back, that he was going to go visit Natasha for one last Christmas. He picked December 16th, 2012 because it was the night after a big Stark holiday party he remembered her drinking pretty heavily at so there was a good chance she’d be right where he could find her that next afternoon using the apartment. Steve knocked on the door of the apartment she used when she was at Stark Tower back in the good old days when the Avengers had been together and times were much simpler. 

She answered the door, blinking at him. “Steve,” she asked clearly recognizing him but struggling with the sudden addition of some scruff. He hadn’t had a chance to shave since he left Hulk, Bucky, and Sam weeks ago. “Are you trying that out for a mission?” She stepped aside and let him through, surprising Steve at how easy it was to get in her apartment. What he was struggling with more was how young she looked, how much lighter and more carefree… if Natasha ever was such a thing. She just looked so, so good to him that he wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. “Woah there buddy, were you in Thor’s mead again?” 

“No… no, I”m just really grateful to see you.” Steve hadn’t given a lot of thought to what he’d say once he got here but was hoping to avoid any huge time slip ups. As he understood it, Natasha was going to be doomed no matter what though. It wasn’t as though he could warn her and avoid what had happened on Vormir. “You look so good.”

“Steve… you.. you look older, what is this? Mask?” She reached up and tried for the edges of a mask finding none. 

“Can we sit down,” Steve asked and Natasha led him to the chairs around the table. There was a tree in the sitting room, apparently the bots had gotten to the individual apartments too, or she’d asked for one. Steve liked to think she’d asked for one. Natasha sat down with him, holding out her hand for him because he was so shaken. Steve told himself to get it together, but it wasn’t happening. That was when she asked a question that shocked him to his core. 

“How long have I been dead,” she asked. 

“What?” 

“You’re you but not you, which means…. time travel,” Natasha asked. Steve nodded and she took a second to absorb that. “Really? I was just guessing.” Steve nodded again. “So time travel… and you came back to see me. Not Tony or Bruce or Thor… me. And you’re all weepy. So how long have I been dead to you?” 

“…” Steve paused, staring at her but deciding she deserved the truth. “Hard to say because I’ve been jumping but I figure about three weeks.” He frowned and took her now unsteady hand. “I’m sorry.” 

“How old are you?” 

“I can’t tell you. You’d figure out the timeline. Even if you did, it’s not going to change,” Steve told her sadly. “I’m sorry.” 

“Well damn. You’re not that much older,” Natasha said. “This is soon.” 

“Not so soon. We have time.” Steve wished he were her about to embark on the years of flirtation and adoration, the playing, the teasing, the loving. Steve was at the end of his time with her but she would get all of it and for that he was grateful. 

“We,” Natasha asked. 

“We,” he echoed. “I missed you so much,” Steve told her tears in his eyes. Natasha reached over and pulled him into a tight embrace, squeezing softly. “I wouldn’t change one thing about it, about us.” 

“So…. you have one more night with me,” Natasha told Steve softly clearly believing him for some reason. “What should we do?” 

Steve caught Natasha’s face in his hands and kissed her passionately, not giving her room to pull back at first until he was certain she’d relax into it. She did almost immediately much to his delight. The kiss was passionate and playful, Natasha clearly appreciating it as she let out a soft moan. He loved that moan, would work for that moan. His hand caressed her side, touching every bit of her that Natasha would allow. They’d only just met a few months ago in her timeline, so this had to be quite strange for her. But apparently she trusted him, something Steve knew was a rare commodity. 

They kissed again, bodies pressed close to each other as Natasha reached for his shirt. “You’re so beautiful,” Steve told her softly, foreheads pressed together. The scant distance between them was filled with tension and it was clear she was up for whatever he was going to throw at her tonight. Steve thanked God for that because he didn’t know what he’d have done if she slammed the door in his face or worse let him in but didn’t believe him. 

“Is it a good death,” Natasha asked softly clearly unable to resist the urge to question. 

“I can’t tell you anything other than yes.” More like he didn’t want to tell her anything more. He didn’t want to think about her death, her body left there on that desolate hellscape. Hers was a good death, though, one that saved countless souls. Natasha kissed him again, deeper this time as her hands went to the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head. 

“Sweet Lord,” she exclaimed when she got a look at Steve’s bare chest, hands coming up to caress across his chest and stomach. “I wondered what you looked like underneath all that tactical gear,” she told him with a mischievous little smile. 

“You barely know me,” Steve pointed out. 

“I know you well enough to trust that you’ve got my back in a fight,” Natasha told him. “I also know that I find you attractive and the you from now is far too shy to ask,” she told him. Steve smiled a little at the confession, running his hand up her leg. “I know to trust my gut and my gut says you’re the real deal.” 

“I am,” Steve assured her, reaching out to take both her hands in his and bring one then the other to his lips to kiss. 

“Good, then stop wasting time kissing my hands and work lower.” She was wearing a pair of yoga pants and an oversized t-shirt which Steve stripped off her to find she wore nothing underneath either. It was scandalous and lovely all at once and Steve leaned in, lapping through Natasha’s folds for the first/last time trying not to let himself get emotional. He took his time, exploring every inch of her once more. 

By the time she was cumming, Natasha had chanted his name a dozen times in slightly different ways until he could feel her body clamping down and releasing as she came. Steve, for his part, kept up what he’d been doing, not letting her stop at one. She tried to push him off at one point and he lightened up a little but didn’t stop. He knew she was capable of this from experience but maybe she didn’t, Steve thought at the surprised look on Natasha’s face as she came a second time around his fingers. 

Steve traded fingers for cock in the lull of moments as she caught her breath. Natasha gasped a little an arched, legs falling open once more for him. Steve made love to her slow and deep, not letting her escape any pleasure he could give her. He focused on her clit with his fingers, on her g-spot with his cock, until Natasha was crying out his name again, pulling Steve over into orgasm with her. They came together in an explosive coupling that brought Steve to his emotional knees. He told himself he wasn’t going to cry and he didn’t, not really. A few tears may have slipped out of the corners of his eyes as he lay there in the gloaming and dawn of their love affair. 

Technically he could probably stay as long as he liked or until it got awkward with another Steve running around, but Steve had given himself 12 hours to find her and spend with her. They didn’t spend a minute of those 12 hours apart and when it came time to leave, Steve made himself get up and go. It was pure hell to do, but standing there in front of her having to say good-bye for the last time was always going to be horribly difficult. “Good Bye,” she said softly holding his hand there in the sitting room of her apartment. 

“I love you,” Steve told her softly, wanting the last words before he left her to be ones of truth and love. She nodded, hopefully knowing that she was in for a beautiful ride.


	6. Chapter 6

1948

Steve had come home to Peggy three months ago but was still dancing with her every night. It got a little more cramped in the sitting room when the Christmas tree came in, both physically and emotionally, but they still danced each night after dinner. In Steve’s mind, Christmas was Natasha’s still and it was hard for him to think of it as anything but hers despite having come home to Peggy. He loved Peggy and was starting a life with her in the little house. Still, he found himself pulling out the one thing he’d brought with him from the future other than has compass and that was a printed out copy of the photo he and Natasha had taken making a snowman all those years ago/in the future. 

Steve heard the front door open and close and put the photo away, currently his bookmark, and went to greet Peggy. They’d hurried up and gotten married one day about a month ago so he supposed he should say he went to greet his wife. Steve had been staying home, making the house a home and getting his head on straight, while Peggy went to work building Shield. “Hello,” Peggy greeted Steve with a kiss to the cheek before she set down her bag. They’d adopted a tabby cat who came to greet Peggy, winding through her legs.

“Hello.” He took her bag and her kiss with a smile grateful she was home. He’d had a lot of time on his hands since he got back and that was not great for his psyche. The adjustment back to his own time was difficult, more difficult than he’d anticipated. Steve had gotten used to a lot of the creature comforts of the future, but he was determined to take the slow path with Peggy. He offered her a drink and Peggy gratefully took it, regaling him with tales of the office and Howard Stark’s most recent disaster. 

“Howard and Maria would like to come for dinner next week. Do you think we could swing it?” Peggy had been careful about pushing Steve and he was grateful for that. She was good to him and mostly he was just happy to be back with her. 

“That sounds nice,” Steve said. He and Howard had learned to get along quite well and he was actually sourcing him the materials to make another shield. Steve could hardly wait until he had it back in hand. He missed the familiar weight on his arm and the feeling of it hitting bad guys in the face. “What day?” They hashed out particulars and a menu, sitting in the glow of the Christmas tree Steve had insisted they get. It reminded him of the tree he and Natasha decorated together for the V.A.. Steve had even insisted on an extra set of lights in the tree in her honor though, like with everything about the future, he was careful about what he said. 

“Penny for your thoughts,” Peggy asked him, reaching out to take his hand. Steve tended to drift off a little lately, his mind having trouble focusing sometimes. 

“It’s nothing,” Steve assured her, “it’ll pass.” 

Peggy’s hand came up to cup his face, stroking his smooth skin with tender fingertips. “My poor darling,” she said softly before leaning in to brush her lips against his. It was glancing, a tender gesture meant to soothe. Peggy kissed him again, the taste of her whisky permeating the kiss when her tongue slid over his. It wasn’t bad, just different and different could be good. With Peggy it often was. Steve was just finding his footing, he told himself not for the first time.

“I’m fine,” Steve assured Peggy, taking both her hands in his. “Now let’s put your feet up and relax a little while I finish up dinner.” Steve had grown to really enjoy cooking for himself in the future so he brought that love of it to Peggy’s little kitchen, warming up what had been a sparse environment. Peggy, you see, did not cook very much if she could avoid it. Instead she followed Steve’s urging and put her feet up on the ottoman and let Steve take care of dinner. 

They had a pleasant dinner and after dinner they sat on the sofa reading together. Steve lagged, staring at the photo again as he sat there wondering if she was looking down on him now and how time travel worked with heaven. “What’s her name?” Steve startled and closed the book, hiding his bookmark. “Oh please, Steve, don’t try to hide it now. Let me see.” 

Steve sighed, “it’s just a picture of myself and a friend back a few years ago.” Peggy would know that meant in the future. “I probably shouldn’t even have it.” He quietly handed the photo over to Peggy who took a long minute to examine it. There was nothing about it that screamed _future_ , just a photo of two people and a snow person. 

“You were close?” 

“Yes,” Steve answered honestly. “… she was one of my closest friends.”

“You miss her. But not in the same way you miss your other friends. Why her, why have a photo of her?” Peggy was clearly getting a little jealous and Steve couldn’t blame her. 

“… she died,” Steve told Peggy, his voice thick with emotion. 

She handed him back the photo and took his hand, squeezing it then bringing it to hold over her heart. “I’m sorry for your loss,” she told him. “What was her name?”   
“She went by a lot of names,” Steve said his voice cracking a little as he revealed that Natasha was like Peggy in a lot of ways. “Her name was Natasha.” Steve had a minor breakdown then, tears welling up then spilling over down his cheeks. 

Peggy just pulled him close, holding Steve’s head where he’d rested it on her shoulder. “It’s ok. Shhhhhhhh.” Peggy softly comforted him, whispering how everything would be ok. Somehow, after awhile, Steve began to believe it and closed his eyes, just resting a moment against her. “I’ll go to Mass with you this weekend,” Peggy promised. “We can light a candle for her.” 

“You’re a good woman, Peggy Carter,” Steve said softly as he leaned in to kiss her. What had been intended as a peck on the lips ended up much deeper than that. It went slow and steady, but they came together that night in spectacular fashion to create something truly beautiful. 

In fact, that was the night they conceived their daughter … Natalie, Nat for short.


End file.
